first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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