Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
