i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
