Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
