Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
