How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
