Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
