The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
