He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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