If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
