yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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