I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
