Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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