how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize