Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
