Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
