Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
