Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
