You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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