No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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