Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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