clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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