I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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