I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
