Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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