I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize