at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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