well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize