the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
