You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
