Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize