we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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