FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
