i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
