Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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