I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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