I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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