I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
