last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
