I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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