I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
