When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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