Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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