Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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