hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
