Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
