My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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