as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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