if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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