he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
