me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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