what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
