Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize