Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
