i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize