There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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