Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
