Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
